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NEWS
Confessions from Armadillo Acres
By Armadillo Acres Renters, Special to "The Sun", "The
Gainesville Sun Scene Magazine"
Scene asked the cast of the Hippodrome's "Great
American Trailer Park Musical" to serve up their
Must Lists - from their characters' point of view.
The result? Picks, confessions, guilty pleasures,
bad habits and, quite frankly, a questionable line
between fact and fiction.
Pippi the stripper (Kelly Atkins)
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Shopping for lawn
illumination at Linda's Yard Arts on U.S. 301
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Checkin' out the
competition at Café Risque over some home fries
and scrambled eggs.
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Fond memories of
losing my (word deleted by sqeamish editor for
this here family newspaper) in girlfriend's
Granddaddy's hayloft.
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Learning to drive
on Grandma's pickup truck at age 11.
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I get a little
weak in the knees for guys who have to pull out
a step ladder to get into their trucks!
Jeannie the agoraphobic housewife (Catherine Fries
Vaughn)
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Favorite meal:
fried chicken, okra, cornbread and mashed
potatoes.
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I kept an
alligator in a fish tank, but he escaped. Now I
keep him under Norbert's pillow.
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I keep two more
alligators in the tub.
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My other favorite
meal? Alligator.
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When I come out
of my trailer, the first place I'll visit is the
Victoria's Secret in the Oaks Mall. Then I'm
going to the Café Risque.
Norbert the toll collector (Mark Chambers)
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Going armadillo
bowling with Delbert.
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Going to High
Springs to tube with Delbert.
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Going to the
Weiner Dog Races in Texas with Delbert.
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Cook out and eat
something special like barbecue ox tails and
ribs.
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Shop for knick
knacks for Jeannie at the Goodwill.
Duke the maniac ex-boyfriend (Ted Stephens III)
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After a day of
hunting road kill, I love to chat it up with Tom
the bartender at Lillian's while throwing a few
Budweisers back.
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Trying and outrun
the cops in Lawtey; 1,922 tickets later, I'm
still trying.
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There's nothing
like a spit-grilled meal out of Bambi and
armadillo on the weekends.
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My favorite place
to scarf down a bowl of grits is The Clock. I
even lick the bowl.
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Me and my pals
like cow-tipping in Archer late at night.
Lin
the Death Row inmate's wife (Jennifer Anderson)
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County music.
Especially those Dixie Chicks, 'cause they sing
that "Goodbye Earl" song. It's my favorite.
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Wal-Mart. 'Cause
they always carry my favorite brand of hunting
knife.
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The humidity.
Hey, it may be hot, but all that sun means no
one can even touch my tan.
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Sonny's BBQ. Earl
and I had our wedding reception there.
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Sweet tea. My
favorite beverage. I drink it while I read the
latest news in the North Florida Prison Wife's
Digest.
Pickles the possibly - but very unlikely - pregnant
one (Mackenzie Curran)
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I love to shop in
Wal-Mart's maternity department.
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I get serious
pregnancy cravings for KFC's fried chicken. The
greasier, the better!
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I learned exactly
how to be a true Southern lady from Gretchen
Wilson's song "Redneck Woman."
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I love the
Confederate flag and am decorating the nursery
in our trailer in Confederate flag wallpaper.
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I love the crib
we bought our baby. It's shaped like a pick-up
truck bed.
Betty the owner of Armadillo Acres (Cindy Thrall)
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I'm an excellent
cook. Favorite recipe: Florida Southern Pecan
Pie. Ingredients: 3 Starke-farmed eggs, 2/3 cup
sugar, 1 cup dark corn syrup, cup butter, 1
cups Alachua pecans, a 9-inch pie crust. Beat.
Pour. Bake 40-50 minutes in 350-degree oven.
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In my youth, I
sang in a band and opened for Gainesville
resident and Rock and Roll Hall of Famer Bo
Diddley!
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Once lived near
Lake Okeechobee; before moving to Fakahatchee
Strand.
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Struggled to land
the role of the Sugar Plum Fairy in "The
Nutcracker" under the direction of Judy Skinner.
But I never made it past Mouse Soldier.
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I'm a Methodist.
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